hitting on a girl

= 1149

This world is full of desperate people. People who loneliness kills in the silence of their empty lives because we were not made to be islanders. Were we? It is not good for man to be alone, for he needs a partner to share his sorrows with. Someone who will like and love them the way they are without paying much attention to our defects, we all got scars that can turn people away if they paid much attention.

At the same time, in a world heavily demented by desperate people, also in the same world exist hopeful people. Ambitious people who do what they want and when they want it, the indomitable. People with a heart of a lion and swiftness of a lioness. In the world of heartbreaks, some are finding love because they have their expectations right, not searching for perfection when they are not perfect themselves. Fellows who understand that you can never discover a being of your dreams, but rather someone you can tolerate. And they find love when you feel love sucks.

One day, you will be sitting somewhere in a big, public institution. Two seats away will be two individuals seated; a boy and a girl. They are conversing but not the usual banter. The boy is trying to box the girl. Curious as you are, you will love to eavesdrop because you like dipping your nose right into people’s business; you are a writer, so that you can find a story to write.

You will act busy, clinging to your phone tightly acting like you don’t notice them. So they won’t mind talking loud. Your ears will be tilted so well that you can even hear the boy’s mind tremble as it searches for the right words.

When a girl’s responses include yes, no or shaking of the head, then there are two things involved: a boy on one end, and a girl on the other end who thinks the boy is a fool. You love it that way because your stray ears will want to hear how that dude with swag struggles. You will want to hear his relentless effort to excite the girl, because for the last ten or so minutes you sat there, not even a smile has crossed her face. She is largely disinterested.

As a good guy, you will feel like holding the dude’s hand and taking him aside, give him some tips because from what he is saying, you clearly know he can’t break that ice. It is colder than the arctic. That ice is more than frozen, one iceberg that can submerge a lost ship.

The guy even tries to hold her arm to cool her intense wall. That doesn’t go as smooth. The girl is looking away, listening partly, and imagining where his boy would be at this particular time to save her from this unsavory lines, on the other part.

He even tries to know her interests, asking the kind of music she likes and all that basic stuff, all in the effort of inviting her into a warm dialogue. From the look, the dude is a cool, with varsity swag. The kind of boys that don’t have an official wear in their closet. So he is rocking the bad boy way. But you can tell he is a wannabe. That animal spirit isn’t in him. A bad boy would only need around twenty minutes to get that girl around, and in the next hour he is screwing her in a buddy’s keja.

Knowing the basics proves even harder when the girl says yes to everything. She seems to know all there is to know in the world of music, movies but not sports. Sports bore her. She associates them with men leaving their women at home in the night to watch a damn ball on telly in a club. Maybe they remind her of terrible misery she underwent when her ex gambled all the money and got broke that they slept hungry often. Maybe it may bring memories of her ex paying more attention to his game than her.  And so the sports topic closed indefinitely.

Having no bullets left in his gun to fire, he suggests that they go for an evening walk, which of course she accepts readily. Maybe some flower on the road might bring life, or some muscular guy from the gym might excite her and brighten her evening.

Looking at the dude, you then realize that sometimes it is hard to get every girl you like. And the other way round. The reason for desperation and loneliness lies in there. People find it hard to get those they like into their lives.

You will find these guys doing everything to win hearts of the girls they want. Some will use words; top them up with fun trips, dinners and all that stuff. But is it that easy really?

*****************************************************************************

Here are a few tips that can help you work your way into a girl’s heart:

Understanding rules of dating:

Are you really ready for a girlfriend, or are you in to just kick it? If you haven’t had success getting a girlfriend, the reason could be that you are not ready for one. Having one needs commitment. And knowing what you want will help you get the girl you want. Knowing what type of girlfriend you want also helps you figure out what the best place is to look for her.  It will also help you prepare ideas for conversation starters and working on your image.

Work on your image. We may be drunk by this fad that women do not pay much attention to well-dressed men, but our outer appearance reflects our inner selves. And women are attracted by the confidence that your image portrays.

Exude confidence. There is nothing attractive to women than confident men. Confidence is not the same as being boastful or cocky.  So, don’t feel like you’ve got to proclaim all of the reasons you have to be confident.  The best way to project confidence is to be positive.  Never belittle yourself.

Learn the art of flirting. This is an honest way of showing that you are genuinely interested in her. Flirting becomes an art form when you do things to show the woman that you are interested in only her.  This type of flirting will make a woman feel like she is the only person in the room, like she is a goddess in your eyes.  She will love this feeling that she gets from you and will seek you out to get the feeling again.

Never talk about your ex

Listen

Give her undivided attention

You got to cut the game playing. Games are fun in the bedroom, but they are childish and immature when you play them in your relationships.- make her feel jealous, play hard to get, make her wait, act macho, pretend you really care than you really do.

Looking for a girl or having one shouldn’t be your entire life. Get time to explore your hobbies and interests. Giving her much time will overwhelm her and she will suffocate. She should be part of you, not your entire life.

Take her on a real date, if you can that is.

I am not master at this, but it reminds me of the things I have done to get a girlfriend in one time or another. And lately buying dinner and transporting it somewhere. It is something I have never done in my entire life, it is an experience so to say.

I wish all those bruhs who are looking for ladies success. Let us meet next Wednesday.

Cheers!

-Phot Credit: knowledgeformen

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About Mzangila

Mentor, media consultant, photographer, editor, poet, writer, and counselor.

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One comment

  1. Nice piece..

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