Beating blue ticks, a man’s manual

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In a world full of desperation, everyone is searching for something to appease their troubled inner selves. In the search for such cures for our desperation, everyone is running away from loneliness. No one enjoys weathering alone in seclusion. Inside us, there is an urge for an extension to connect to and tap some hope from during turbulent times, an extension to talk to and an extension that can bring light into our dark shelters.

It is not easy fighting solitude because people have lost their real selves to pretense, egocentrism, and individualism. Many of us will testify that at times being alone sounds like a good plan rather than dipping your feet and heart into that extension. The truth is, we were initially wired to belong to an extension in order to be complete.

More often than not, we’ve all been victims of blue ticks. No one is a fan of being in that zone whereby your message has been read but no reply is coming through. It makes people angry. And angry people fall into the trap of revenge in order to feel equally happy.

If you love your life, there is no reason under earth why you should stay awake the whole night waiting for a clumsy girl to reply your text she read 18 hours ago. My post is dedicated to men. Why men?

We’ve come a long way as a people. A long way in terms of who is who. As Africans, we were raised in patriarchal societies where a man was more cherished than a woman. Each time a boy was born the whole society came to pay tribute to a demigod that would play an important role in the society. Roles were defined and socialization happened around these roles.

This, therefore, left the hunting game to men. A woman was never given a chance to hunt down the man she was attracted to. Many of us, including me, grew up in that society. That is why I still hold to the tenets of a man should hunt, even though nowadays women have perfected the game and outshined men. The truth is the woman who hunts a man will always remain cheap, unless otherwise. A man will take home a woman he hunted himself.

I concur with many that our hunting skills have fallen below sea level as men. We no longer follow the right procedures to get our hunt right. We cannot be blamed for losing our archery or for trading it for weaker skills- women are the ones who determine how our game operates.

As men, we’ve have been victims to blue ticks to these ladies that we’re trying to bed. In most cases, the most genuine guys suffer most because girls perceive them as normally boring. Thus, it is really tough for good boys to land good women. Many do when they marry because good men have a laser like focus that lands them into bright futures. Women want bright futures. The ones they can’t sit down and make themselves.

Instead of moaning of how a certain chic blue ticked you and mongering hate, ruining your happiness and acting silly, you need to chill and behave like a man.  Rule number one-There is nothing in this world worth dying for. Your life and happiness matter most. So let no woman make your life miserable. Even more, let no blue ticks make you run mad.

Remember, this woman does not owe you anything. She does not owe you a kidney so that she has to reply your messages instantly. You’re not the only dude trying to get into her pants really bad. There are other ninjas who probably have a better game and she is inclined to give in to them.

After understanding this, you should remember that putting all your eggs in one basket is folly. They can all break anytime. You’ll remain hungry. A man is not supposed to put all his heart and brain into one woman. That is for women to do. Our job is not to love women excessively, no. It is to show them that we love them. Loving them means putting your heart on a woman but with a fully awake brain.  The moment you decide to sell your brains and heart to a woman, you’ll lose your head and she will be suffocating.

When chatting, ensure that you have multiple girls that you’re chatting with. Even if one taps out, you will have another one to knock your night off with. You won’t even notice when one leaves your message unanswered.  So don’t depend on one girl. You’ll be impatient waiting for her to text back, and when she doesn’t, boy, you’ll start hating. Have multiple chatting partners.

If there is one you really like, ensure you spend more time with her. To keep her connected to you, learn what she wants to hear. There is no one who will want to listen to a jerk who is obsessed with sexual innuendos or silly talk from morning to evening. Know her preferences and also work on your timing.

Many of us are entangled in this mess because we do not have anything to do with our lives. Therefore, we depend on women for us to find a reason to be alive. By leveraging on communication from other people for us to feel human creates a dependency syndrome that can be hard to beat. This syndrome leads to addiction which we can locally brand as an obsession. A man who is busy will keep chats to a minimal. Or call. Or text.

I know women love men who are busy. Men who don’t spend their whole day on WhatsApp snooping into people’s status updates and giving nasty comments on them. But if you spend most of your time on social media like I because that is where you make your dough, then do not feel guilty. So long as you understand that you’re working, stealing frequent moments often to chat won’t be a problem.

There is one thing you should understand with today’s women. Most of them are fake women who have come up with something they call “standards.” Standards that don’t define anything special about them. These perceived standards come from the fact that they want to massage their egos. Ego is very important to a woman who knows nothing about real standards.

You will see them call themselves slay queens, updating the status saying I know my standards blah blah. To say the truth, they are all infected with a pandemic that is just on the surface. They don’t understand it, but just because they’ve seen other women do the same, they embrace them tightly and suddenly start feeling entitled. It is the same thing you see them doing with fashion.

A woman is still a woman. Just because she has applied 5 layers of makeup on her face and took her best photo in a studio does not mean her real face has changed. Her makeup may be different but that doesn’t change her. Nice make up and fancy clothing is not standards.

Women who are respected command respect by their natural aura, character and personality. Those who force it through all the social media platforms in this world are just desperate people looking for consolation.

So men, don’t try so hard to get something you don’t need. I understand that most of us want just to blow the base and run. Getting laid by many women doesn’t put a signature to your manhood. It is a disgrace to yourself.

Women are not dumb people. When you chat with them, those who like you will chat and let you into their world. Concentrate with the ones that open their arms for you. That way, you won’t have to chase after those who blue tick you. Your life can achieve a new dimension and make more sense to you.

Finally, be a man. Step up your game, stop whining. If a woman refuses you, keep walking, there is a whole world of women out there who are waiting to get laid. Why then waste time with one who keeps rejecting you? Work on your emotions and know that you’ll always get a girl no matter what. There is one waiting for you around the corner, you just need to open your eyes and let your guts work for you.

Will you now whine about blue ticks?



Mzangila Snr

Where shall we go, we who wander in this wasteland in search of better selves?

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About Mzangila

Mentor, media consultant, photographer, editor, poet, writer, and counselor.

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