Zero Hour

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Timing is something that I can never get quite right especially when it comes to relationships. I have met the girl of my dreams the month before she left to go study abroad; formed an incredibly close friendship with an attractive lady who happened to be taken; met another one but she was too outgoing; fell in love with another one but she was too conservative and reserved; ended a relationship because my girlfriend wasn’t ready to get serious and ended another one because she was getting too serious too soon.

“It would have been perfect,” I keep whining to my friends. If only this were five years from now, or four years sooner, if only you were a little younger or a little older; some indistinct time in the future where all our problems would take care of themselves. Timing seems to be the invariable third party in all my relationships and yet I never stop to consider why I let timing play such a drastic role in my life.

I keep cursing ‘time is a bitch’ and over time kept consoling myself with the thought that the people we meet at the wrong time are just the wrong people. However, deep down I know some part of that statement might not be true. I have met some incredible people along the way, people I think would have made the perfect mates but the timing was wrong.

This morning I’m reading someone’s thoughts on the same and she says that we never meet the right people at the wrong time because the right people are timeless. That the right people make you want to throw away the plans you originally had for one and follow them into the hazy, unknown future without a glance backwards.

The right people don’t make you second guess whether you want to be with them, you just know. You know that any adventure you had originally planned out for your future isn’t going to be half as incredible as the adventures you could have by their side. That no matter what you thought you wanted before, this is better. Everything is better since they came along.

When you are with the right person, time falls away, you don’t worry about fitting them in your complicated schedule because they become part of that schedule. They become the backbone of it. Your happiness becomes your priority as long as they are contributing to it, you can work around the rest.

The right people don’t stand in the way of the things you once wanted or make you choose them over them. The right people encourage you to try harder, dream bigger and do better. They bring out the most incredible parts of yourself and make you want to fight harder than ever before. The right people don’t impose limits on your time or your dreams or your abilities. They want to tackle those mountains with you and they don’t care how much time it takes. With the right person, you have all of the time in the world.

The truth is, when we pass someone up because the timing is wrong, what we are really saying is that we don’t care to spend our time on that person. There will never be a magical time when everything falls into place and fixes all our broken relationships. But there may someday be a person who makes the issue of timing irrelevant because when someone is right for us, we make the time to let them into our lives and that kind of timing is always right.

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About The Philosopher King

Writer, philosopher, painter and a student of life and politics. Follow on Twitter @cj_njoroge. Instagram @cj_njoroge

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