The Road To 2020

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In any fight, the smaller guy happens to be more aggressive because he feels he has much to prove. The bigger guy might not have anything to prove because, naturally, he seems to have the advantage and doesn’t have to over think, or even strategize how to beat the smaller guy. The smaller guy will often think that the bigger guy looks down upon him because of his natural physical circumstances. He therefore has to put in extra effort, even when it isn’t needed, to prove a point. In most cases, the point being that he’s a badass and no one, even if you’re as tall as Sultan Kösen, should treat him as if he is not man enough.

So the beef might emanate from the sense of insecurity of being the smaller guy who everyone belittles. This breeds unwanted animosity which can go a long way to make someone engage in stupid battles that may end up damaging them physically or even emotionally. And if the smaller guy is beaten, the point is more pronounced which makes him feel worse, damning even his self esteem for years. A life time grudge might grow out of such a fight.

While that happens, the bigger guy might not even realize the need for that fight. He will only decide to fight when he discovers that the smaller guy is coming at him with all he has. To defend himself from harm, he throws a punch or two which might deface the smaller guy. And he will walk away and forget the incident.

Then one day, this smaller guy will waylay the bigger guy to seek revenge. This fight might have happened 20 years ago, but this smaller guy has never forgotten. He has always held a grudge and wanted to get even, plotting how to do so for all that long. If he understands anything, he does understand that revenge is sweetest when it is delayed.

This story is not going anywhere. I just felt that I should say it so that all the small people in the house can know that bigger people have no disrespect for you. We don’t create ourselves, so there’s no possibility of default disliking of another just because they aren’t to our physical liking. It is all in your mind.

I tend to look at life like two men. A smaller one and a bigger one. The smaller one is embroiled in a fight with the bigger man, not knowing that he’s the only one in that war. While he thinks that he’s fighting the bigger guy, the bigger guy lives his own life and doesn’t, at all, notice what the small guy is going through.

I want you to figure that out: that we are the smaller guy, trying to battle with life as if we are equals and in the end getting beaten up bad and disappointed. That we are so much focused on comparing ourselves with life, trying to show it that we are stronger and better, so that we spend all our energy on trying to impress it.

It makes sense that way to me. That we are little brats who squander our energies on the wrong agendas. Instead of focusing on our journeys, we keep tabs on life’s journey, trying to outlive it every day. I understand that you can relate to this… so I am not going to expound more as this was not my intention today.

This is my first post this year. Jose has already done two. He is the one who keeps adding wood to the fire when I am not around to fulfill that duty. He keeps this dream alive. Cheers to that dude. He will be writing with me all year round, hoping that his energy bar doesn’t empty.

I am a seasonal motherfucker. Some days are good, others are just bland. Nothing to cheer my writing up, so I don’t feel obliged to write. I have a feeling that I might shift careers this year, or even move to another country where girls walk around with boobs hanging out, a country where lions are underrated so they are sadly kept as pets that guys twiddle their thumbs with when they got nothing to do.

But before all this bullshit, I want to welcome everyone on board.  We don’t take you for granted because you’re the fuel that fires our creative juices. So we thank you for staying with us all through, supporting us (even if you don’t comment) and sulking at our shit. It is our very hope that you’ll stand with us this year, to defend us, to fight for us, to cheer us up, to keep us on our feet, and to spread the gospel of this bullshit and motherfuckery. So welcome to this platform. Take a seat at the corner and enjoy a cup of that tea that you came with.

I want to state that I am not demented. I am not crazy, or fucked up. I am not a drug addict or an alcoholic. I am not a zombie or a nincompoop or village bumpkin. I do write material that suggests one or even all of the traits mentioned above. And I get many petrified readers who want to meet me so that they can ask me about the things I write, and confirm if I am really normal. I tell them there’s no need because in person I am a quite chilled, respectable and good looking individual with a kale-accent who is highly reserved.

You’ll get bored when you expect me to be chatty and instead you find me quite comfortable in my silence. So stop the fantasies of wanting to meet me. I am a disappointment.

The shit I talk about on this platform comes from deep within. The idea of blogging was born out of the need for me to get a place in this world where I can be myself, to be whatever and whoever I want, a safe space for me to share my idiosyncrasies without someone glaring at me. A place where I don’t fear anyone. And this is that place, my safe place, where I can be a psycho, a philosopher, a dreamer, a scientist, a theorist, a white liar, a dope dealer, a killer, a sex expert, a master of nothing- and still be able to win some of your hearts with my stupidity.

So if you find my material over the fence for your principles, kindly know that I got no limits in my mind. Understand that my mind is fucked up, and it will always be. Know that I am the only dude who isn’t afraid of saying the truth even when it fucking hurts.

2020

The New Year is here. It doesn’t matter how you welcomed it, it happened to all of us, at least those of us who are alive by now. For some it’s a change of calendar, for others it’s a new season for new happenings. As for me, I am fighting as always.

First I want to thank all those who supported me by purchasing my eBook (My Life In Pieces) which was going for Kshs. 200/=. The funds were to help me get on my feet after robbers left me hapless and helpless. I was able to self over 30 copies. They might seem a few but my greatest pleasure is that my bullshit was able to get out there and be read. I have received positive feedback and I am truly grateful.

If you have not copped your e-copy, reach me out on 0716503589 so that we can get you one.

Something else worth noting is that people have made their 2020 resolutions. As a matter of fact, it is prudent to make resolutions, not only New Year resolutions but on every undertaking you wish to achieve. The problem only comes about when you make them as a matter of formality, to please others.

When making resolutions, you should treat them as promises, things to keep for your own good. Unless you don’t take promises serious. Many of us fail because we do not respect ourselves enough to honour even the promises we give ourselves. If you lack that discipline the going will get tough for you because it will be extremely difficult for you to achieve anything.

Many, if not all of us, desire to be someone in society. We have dreams and wishes that we aspire to accomplish, but we’re mostly curtailed by our lack of ambition and personal discipline. Not that I got my shit together. I don’t. I do try to respect my words when I say them. If for sure I know I won’t keep them, I’ll hold them inside.

So make some. Resolutions should be few and manageable. They should be accorded a working plan or formula which you’ve to follow, adjust and reinvent until you reach your goal.

I am not going to state any resolutions because I haven’t made any. I am still in last year’s realm and the affairs of that year have me blazing hot with a mix of lethargy and ambition.

However, I’d love to suggest a few things that might make this year a memorable one for you and me. They are suggestions. If you find them worthy, adopt them, if you send me “kachai” in the name of appreciation, I won’t mind.

  1. Fuck often.

Unlike old times, sex isn’t a forbidden subject in contemporary times. We’re slowly realizing its pivotal role in our lives. I cannot emphasize more on its importance. We all deserve regular sex, and orgasms. Not everyone likes sex. Those who don’t embrace it as much have their reasons and we’ve not resolve at all to drag them into our table of honour to try cast out their ‘demons.’

Sex is a beautiful thing. It brings relieving feelings that leave your body lighter and rejuvenated. There’s nothing as powerful as an orgasm. When it hits you, that tsunami, it leaves you paralyzed with sweetness that cannot fit words.

People who enjoy healthy sex portray better personalities. They smile more, they’re energetic and they love life.

The trick is to have sex with someone you’re comfortable with, someone you like, and someone who likes you back. It isn’t that hard to come by someone we like. Don’t go banging everywhere because that will leave you empty and vulnerable to disease and hatred.

Fuck safely. I recommend fortnightly if you cannot manage weekly.

  • Stay on your lane.

You might get a feeling that you need to impress others. Also, you might feel that you’re in a competition with the rest of the world. And other times, you might feel, just like the smaller guy, you have a point to prove. This might coerce you to go out of your way to indulge in activities that will leave you disappointed, lonely, dejected and out of breath. You might even feel useless.

But imagine you living your life, doing you thing, and going for things you need. Imagine you living by your means, controlling your desires and minding your own business.

What if you cut all those toxic people from your life? What if you took time to clean your contact list of the people that deteriorate your mood?

Well, imagine what life could be if you just led your life intentionally without being influenced by outside forces. That is what I am talking about, keep lanes, being in charge of your life. You will realize that life is actually beautiful when there aren’t pressures from outside. You experience inner peace, contentment and happiness.

If you feel something or someone is subtracting your happiness or peace of mind or your glow, let them know and ask them to back down or leave you alone. Be in charge! Then you won’t spend the rest of your life searching for the meaning of life.

  • Save a little

You’ve been leading saving-less life since you were born. And perhaps you’ve found life to be enjoyable. Now I want you to imagine what life could be with savings in it. That on a rainy day, you can just head to the bank and get money from your savings and buy your dying mother the only medicine that will save her life.

Saving is one of the hardest skills that I have had to learn. I am sure it is still hard for most of you. But does that mean you can’t turn it around and be the saving master of the century? The trick is finding a reason why you need to save; be it school fees, to buy your dream car, you go for surgery or even to buy a TV. That is the motivation you need. Then start out small,10 or 20 bob a day, depending how much you earn.

I strongly advise you to join a chama (merry-go round). Saving in the bank (savings account) is also a swell idea. But with the current economy, the value of money keeps dropping, and your money is likely to have a lower value in the future when you need than its value right now. But it is also a good start; to help you control your desire to withdraw money any time shit hits the fan.

Give it a try and see if your life changes.

  • Take yourself on self dates

Samantha Mbula shared this idea with me towards the end of last year, and I thought it was a grand idea. To appreciate yourself is one of the best things you can do for you. It is a way of thanking yourself for all you’ve been through and all you’ve achieved. Take yourself out to a place, have fun, be by yourself, enjoy the moment, a good meal, seat by the window and immerse yourself in good thoughts. No one will appreciate you if you don’t.

Many of us work hard, and at the end of the day we don’t enjoy the fruits of our labour. Treat yourself occasionally, that way you don’t have to wait for someone’s son or daughter to take you out and treat you. You can do this.

  • Eat well and healthy

The body needs food in order to function. But this time round try to balance your diet. Increase fruit intake. I highly recommend watermelons, apples, bananas and pawpaws.

  • Sleep well

You need this. A fresh mind works better than a tired one. Use the slightest opportunity to catch a wink. If you can sleep walk, please do, so that when it comes to doing something, you be as sharp as a razor blade.

  • Read a book

How many books have you read so far this year? None? Okay, that’s good because I haven’t read any except my ebook, for the third time now. Reading has its benefits. There’s nothing as compelling and attractive as new knowledge. Being knowledgeable also makes you an attractive person. Books occupy you, they give you stories, they entertain, the arm you, and they open your mind. If you need a great company, then date a book. Don’t be a zombie.

The rest you can figure out because I am not a human life manual.

Happy New Year 2020!

Mzangila Snr,

Where shall we go, we who wander in this wasteland in search of better selves?

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About Mzangila

Mentor, media consultant, photographer, editor, poet, writer, and counselor.

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