The other woman in your husband’s life.

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The significant other

Extra marital affairs have been in existence from the time immemorial in every society. In so-called sophisticated western societies sometimes it has become a fashion or it acts as an additional qualification to boost ones self-esteem to say that he or she has a lover on the side.

However morally or ethically wrong or sinful it is to have an extra marital affair, the fact remains that millions of husbands and wives in this modern world today do fall prey to this unfortunate serpent where families breakdown in most cases and end up in divorce thereby leaving the children to pick up emotional pieces left from their parents.

In the case of a man having an affair with another woman they say that the wife is the last to know when her husband has strayed. She may vaguely come to know about it from the peoples whispering behind her back until a well-meaning friend decides to let the cat out of the bag for obvious reasons to keep the family of her friend intact. Alternatively, the husband finally eases his conscience or taunts the wife with the fact!

No other crisis tests love so thoroughly as when a husband is having it away with another woman, for it can be the greatest tragedy and disgrace that a marriage can suffer. Firstly the wife’s ego is bruised and later anger; hatred, jealousy, pain, humiliation and desperation begin to struggle for supremacy in the woman’s inner being.

Sometimes, perhaps, the other woman can be the best friend of the wife or the husband’s colleague or just a faceless name. It could also be that the other woman could be of a series of casual flings, or a one-night stand! But her obnoxious presence will be everywhere whiff of perfume on his shirt, an idiotic cat-has-the cream smile on his face when he thinks nobody is looking, the extravagant gift for the wife to ease his conscience, his late hours or his wrath when the wife has done nothing to merit it.

On a rational analysis one may try to understand the need for another woman in the first place. Quite often, she is an attempt to resolve a problem that stems directly from the marital bed- like- frigidity, limited libido or just plain boredom. The romantic woman fed on a diet of Mills and Boon novels cannot distinguish between purely physical and emotional feelings and believes that her husband cannot love her if he has sex outside.

Some assume that it is this misunderstanding of the male libido that prevents a woman from evaluating the true nature of her husband’s behavior and the fact that another woman overcrowding their marriage may not mean that all is not well with a marriage!

Many men swear and say that they love their wife but they are men and they need other women! For this category of men, the other woman seems to make them feel good. They like to admit that they are being discreet and say that those are not relationships! It’s like when you are hungry you eat out, but he likes the wife’s cooking the best!

In certain cases after the wife gives birth to 2 or three children she begins to demonstrate that she does not want sex anymore. What happens then is that, in many cases where professional elite classes are concerned, the husband will have sex with his secretary. The wife may not know about the husband’s new relationship but to the husband, his wife comes first in every respect even under such circumstances.

Sometimes the other woman enters a man’s life because of the wife’s possessiveness. Some men confess that they get the feeling as though that their wives want to swallow them alive! It is when she turns into a witch and expects the husband to do everything together, even sharing every thought with her. Naturally, the men folk get suffocated in such circumstances and feel hemmed in. Unnecessary suspicions by wives at times can lead to tears and tantrums but such behavior will not help except driving the man, may be to an affair which he had not even had thought about!

In certain cases it is not sex that is most important in a marriage, but the total relationship that counts. When women try to use sex as a bribe or weapon it opens up a different chapter where they don’t have much to say to one another. Samna (not the real name) says he has met a single woman with whom he can relax, who makes him laugh, who is interested in his work. They have been to bed once and it was a total sharing and conversation before and after. Sometimes the other woman is an escape from friction under the domestic roof.

What are the characteristics of the other woman men seek at times? She is not always sexy, glamorous, pampered, wicked creature that the wife may imagine. She might even be older or less attractive or not so educated as the wife, but she is for sure, riddled with guilt and resentment, what with a mans part-time loyalty and his part-time presence; full of fear too, about losing her looks and losing her lover and most often she is lonely.

The wife has the first claim to his surname, his children, birthday, holidays, social life and other celebrations and the other woman has to put up with people cutting her dead and sniggering behind her back.

All in all, solitary nights, secrecy, stress, guilt and fantasy are impossible for her to maintain forever. And in all probability, her lover, the woman’s husband will be back to his wife and family where he belongs, because he too cannot strand the emotional, physical and financial strain of leading a double life.

Generally Asian women are reared in a household where a display of affection between adults is taboo. She is conditioned to have sex with her husband whether she wants or not, and then two contradictory elements come into play. There is the long-suffering type who will pardon her husband for all his sins, even sexual exploits outside his home, and there is the other type who accepts all his vices like gambling and drinking but will never allow him to womanize.

Perhaps, the first woman’s attitude is more realistic because she knows that her husband really loves her in his own way, satisfies her material needs and seeks sex outside because he genuinely believes that he is sparing her from his demands in bed. Such women, generally older, cope by turning a blind eye to the other woman, knowing that it will blow away. They hold their heads up high and smile believing that men are easily aroused and that the other woman doesn’t stop their men from being good husbands and fathers. They would never dream of a divorce or of confronting the other woman. Can women take a leaf from America’s book of romance?

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Characteristics of the other woman.

She loves sex– there is nothing that amuses her other than dropping her pants for your husband. Probably she loves the game, the husband must be a lion in bed and that makes her cum wet in her cunt at his nock on the door. 95% of her life with your man is just based on sex escapades. She just loves the way your husband screws her in bed. She wouldn’t mind sharing him with you. To her it is a normal phenomenon, and so long as she gets banged well she can’t let him go. It is all that matters… yeah, she is a bitch.

She is beautiful. – come on, what else could take a man out of his marriage if it’s not that pretty face, curvy body and great ass? It is like magic, and irresistibly charming. The man can do anything so long as her dick can get into the pants of such a beauty. Even the sex just turns out to be great. There is no way you can bang some ugly bitch, unless the bitch threatens to butcher you.

As a wife, you should be worried about the bitch. She has got nothing to lose since her beauty is such an enormous leverage that can make your husband leave you for her.

She is great in bed. Take heed of this bit. Men love women who are great in bed. That is a fact. You cannot act like a fat punk ass pumpkin in bed and expect your man to love it. And men hate such women. It is a rarely discussed subject, because honestly we expect our ladies to have been informed that taking charge in the bedroom science in order to earn you a lump sum amount of faithfulness in a man’s oblongata is necessary. So if the bitch opens her well so well and kisses passionately and so heavenly, then the guarantee is that a man goes for the greener pastures where he can eat thoroughly and satiably.

Lying on bed and acting like a dry tomato waiting to be watered is just a giant turn off. We want you to touch, we want you to take charge and romp us, we want you to kiss us and make us wild, we want it to be an enjoyable game of two participants who are actively involved in tasting the greatness, we want you to do the unimaginable, go wild, make us beg, dress provocatively, and drip the juices like it were rare honey to be worked for. Are you getting me? Go down and give me a mouth if you can, ask me of my weirdest expectations, suggest things out of the box, it doesn’t have to be in bed, surprise me, strip dance for me and help me get the excitement and let’s roll down that path together to canaan.

She is a good cook. Believe me, some of these bitches know how to really prepare good meals. What more does a man need other than someone who can cook good food for a man. It is one of the greatest qualities we look for in the ladies we marry. It doesn’t have to be ugali Sukuma every day. Come on, my digestive system will go green and collapse. Why do I have to work hard, leave enough money for food daily only to eat ugali Sukuma? I mean, is there no other meal you can prepare to break the monotony? The problem again is not in cooking variety of food stuff, the trick is in the cooking itself. The quality matters. It can make a man appreciate in many ways if the wife happens to be a good cook.

Here is the trick woman! Just go for a couple of cooking lessons and learn how to be a better cook. That is one of the reasons that you got married.

She treats your man better than you do.  We men have trouble with having wives who can’t give us peace or at least appreciate our efforts by treating us better. We deserve that piece of life. Sometimes when you get home from work, you are exhausted and it would be a big favour if your wife just welcomed you warmly and helped you relax, prepare a bath for you and maybe some hot tea followed by a slight massage to help us relax the muscles. That is great marriage.

But on many occasions you get home only to enter and find your wife in a gloomy mood always. And then she doesn’t even seem to recognize your presence. All she can do is to hurl a few nasty words of how the bills have not been paid or how the kids were sent home after having fights in school. I just want a little peace to help me relax first and then sort out any issues that might have come up while I was at work. Every man dreads going back home to his barking wife, in fact he can even hang out in a bar till late just to shorten the madness time at home.

The bitch knows better. She completely understands that you give the husband hard times and she will prioritize in providing a very cozy environment for your husband. She will prepare a hot meal for him right before he gets home, help her with her jacket and briefcase, prepare a hot shower for him and indulge him in a warm conversation. She makes the man think she has no wife, that she made a wrong decision in marrying you. And those are bad new right there. When it gets to this point, be prepared to stay alone in that marriage.

She loves money. Maybe for good reasons the other woman needs money. That is something that counts a lot. Why else should we brand her a bitch? It is because of sex and money. She wants someone to give her money and she is cool with it. She is more of a housewife. Pay her rent, do all her bills, take care of her and she will be the best lady for you. How lovely is that, she can be loyal to you like no one’s business.

If you feel that I have left out something that you can add, feel free to add it in our comments segment.

So what now! here is the tip; just embrace the characteristics above. Just make your marriage work, fight for your husband and let him see the value that you add in his life. Be selfless and let him love you back. Bye fellahs….have fun.

What would you do if you hear that your husband has another woman?

-photo credit:genius, telegraph

 

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[…] Also read: The other woman in your husband’s life.  […]

Agnes
Guest

Waah! mzangila you write so well about Romance.
Sisemi kitu you have nailed it brother,some wives cant accept it though.But truth be told some push their husbands away.

cynthia
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cynthia

I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help.And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called michelle and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy woman.For what you have done for me,i will not stop to share your goodness… Read more »

kate
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kate

I got married three years ago, and then it was sweet’ in the beginning after a year and few months, I gave birth to a male child, at that moment I started facing spiritual falsies in my life along the process automatically my husband changed his attitude coming home lately and all sort of meaningless things. After a while he said he can’t live under the same roof with me and he left the home. my life was in hell starting from the day my man left home, he stopped picking my calls he blocked me on his Facebook account.… Read more »