Rising to fame through weddings

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Everybody would like and longs for being a celeb. You likely see the sort of luxurious lives these superstars lead and you salivate. They drive huge cars, live unrestrained ways of life, go to places you just read on google, drink from wine bottles discovered on mars, wear tasteful robes and shoes that you just see on pictures just disclosed by fashionistas of the high end, and live in castles just built with 14th century design. These sort of life is extravagant and truly enviable.

Ask me, ladies crave for celebrity more than men do. We love being who we are. Ladies don’t love being who they are because they are in competition between themselves. At the same time they have to impress that rich guy in Yaya, Karen, Runda or some decent suburban somewhere. They also want to live life like it gonna end today.

So today I am going to help you accomplish your fantasies. I realize that you all that much wish to be a superstar sometime in the not so distant future. It doesn’t need to be years when there are speedier methods for being renowned over occasion. Since I have turned into a celeb, let me impart a percentage of the couple of ways that helped me ascend to such fortunate statures. If its not too much trouble make a special effort to be sufficiently affable to honor me for the free tips.

There are numerous platforms which you can use to accomplish your distinction. With me I have worked some way or another up with pulling my ass from all sides, utilizing the best strategies and seeking after the best. Not until of late when I acknowledged of the various open doors I could have used to enable or rather ascend to the top positions of big name life.

I am going to share with you how to become a celeb using weddings as a platform. Here are the simple rules, and don’t fuck up.

  1. Gatecrash a wedding.

Borrow this leaf from me because I have a have a default gatecrashing syndrome. It is fun so to state. What makes it even better is that you enjoy every little thing more than anyone. So here is the deal. Do not attend cheap weddings. There is no point showing up and blowing things up in pauper weddings. People actually will find your gatecrashing as fun and once the wedding is over you are out of their lips.

There are these weddings where people attend only on invitation. They are the most suitable for your case. If you are attending such weddings you need to hold fast to the accompanying details: dress pleasantly, don’t drive there (if you have a car that is), just stroll there and by the time you arrive you look like you just came out of a hole; and look like you do not give a fuck.

Once you get to the gate, some of the weddings have some ‘soldiers’ on the gate to inspect if you belong there. I and you know that you do not belong here. So cause some little disarray if the soldiers decline to give you way in.  There is one thing that you ought to watch when bringing on turmoil. You don’t arrive late after everybody has sat down.

It is prudent to arrive before the actual arranged time and time when the guests are flocking in. Here if you cause mayhem then you will have an audience. People will take pictures of you, people will talk about you, and there is one more thing. In such weddings the chances of spoiling the good ordeal is limited, watu hawataki aibu, so the security guys will quickly silence you in one way. They will take you somewhere and lure you with something if only you won’t create a buzz to destroy the propitious event.

If they take you to a small room and ask you what you want as you are not among the invitees just tell them if they do not allow you in you will crack a whip on their balls. Either they will allow you in or simply send you to the police. So be smart please.No dunderhead turns into a big name. Be that as it may ensure you are in.

  1. Get to a seat near the front.

There is a justifiable explanation behind this. Get the front most seat. If you see an empty seat, regardless of the fact that the seat has a label name on it simply profess to be the right tenant and position your ass. In the event that the wedding is done in chapel the better.

While you are strolling to the seat, those individuals who saw you cause the show at the door will be talking.

‘Is that not the young lady who brought on a conflict at the door?’ what else do you need. The only thing that matters is that you have them discussing you in an exceptional way.

At the point when time aims to get the minister to pronounce the spouse and declare them a couple, you ought to have arranged your war admirably. The minute comes.

‘Is there any individual who feels like Justine and Jackie ought not get hitched?’ the minister or whoever who is managing the occasion ought to say this. Everybody will be holding their breath. You included. The minister looks over and sees nobody. Furthermore, he asks once more.

‘Anyone?’ no one seems to stand up.

‘Since everybody is placated, give me a chance to take… … ” before he begins this sentence, the pressure has truly gone down and nobody anticipates that anything will happen, and this ought to be your catch. Simply shoot, I mean stand up. I am envisioning that you sat at the corner most seat. This gives a superior period of time to exit and buy individuals’ opportunity as you take the eminence.

When you remain up, adjust your garments and after that admire the lectern for 2 seconds. Over 2 seconds will destroy the good times. It will give the minister, mother-in-laws, sibling and sisters to stand up and stone you to death. So following 2 seconds be progressing.

Since you are seated at the corner most seat and you are on the move, everyone will think that you are headed for the pulpit to give your story. Everyone will be shocked, some will shit in their pants, while the bride and groom can just catch a heart attack as well in the event of trying to understand who is fooling who.

Once you are out of this bench seat, just walk out. And people will sigh in relief but won’t stop talking. Even that alone will sell you. Once people go home, they will be full of you…

‘You recollect that young lady?’

‘Which one?’

‘The person who stood up when the minister inquired as to whether there is any individual who is against their marriage.’

‘Ooh, definitely, that minuscule bitch who was shabbily dressed.

And everyone else will be talking about you. And they will not forget you because you are not yet done. Once you are out just head to the reception. All these info must have been in your possession prior to the event.

  1. Be the first on the serving line.

I ordinarily go to weddings on account of the stomach. It is here that I get the opportunity to eat a percentage of the rarities of the world. So serve the sustenance just as you possess the spot, as if you have an elephant stomach around you, and eat as though you had contributed extraordinarily towards the wedding, or as though you were in the wedding advisory group and you gave out the greatest coupon.

On any case you are full at this point. Book a seat close to the cake. Ensure that everybody realizes that you claim the seat till the occasion is over

It is fun implanted on a thought process. So get it going. At the point when the couple arrives, don’t miss the shot. Dance like it was your own particular wedding. Try not to take after the tune for the love of all that is holy. Simply move outstandingly however don’t take after the tune.

That is why you need to eat well. Like 5 plates, until you can vomit some. People will talk about the way you ate. And you can occupy the whole table with food just for you alone.

  1. Eat the biggest pieces of cake.

Recollect that you need to be renowned. Try not to let anything hold you down. You are made for it. Time ya keki ikifika take a no problem. That is after ikianza kugawa. Try not to ruin the party before the couple cuts it. Take a substantial piece, as than one of pizza and eat it down before the principle Dias. Draw in attention from everybody. You can imagine like imekunyonga. What’s more, request help yet the demonstrate the nimbleness of a cobra, don’t be crushed around your own particular reasons for alarm.

  1. That bouquet of flowers should be yours.

You need to get out there with something to recall the moments with. It sounds dreadful yet in genuine sense nothing is. It is simply an all around calculated business endeavor. Guarantee you make it the absolute best. On the off chance that you have heeled shoes you needn’t bother with them in this challenge. Getting a clench hand on anybody with a specific end goal to get those blossoms is permitted in this rival. . Make sure you walk with it home.

On your way home simply request a ride. We Kenyans love free things, and bugging somebody to issue you a free ride home, regardless of the possibility that it is inverse heading to his home, might at last issue you some great end. That is a day well spent. Everybody goes home discussing you and ridiculing you. It is this same wedding that you may become friends with somebody who may change the entire of your future….

-photo credit: citywesthotel

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