Mzangila

Indemnity

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out into the streets I look, sore in the throat

with dry tears I hung my head, hoping for a better day

The payday I wait, to settle my debts

and with guilt I still wait, looking down on earth

Confusion cloaks all over me.

 

At the far end I know I’m right, yet not chastity

The yearning is extreme, yearning for what I know not

The indemnity I have to pay, to make things work out

To dry my tears and drain my misery

To the winds of the hydrosphere.

 

On that other side they stand, firm and indifferent

Not looking in my sombre eyes, and the tears I have cried

They ask themselves not the question, why I’m so withdrawn

All is judgement, from my head to toe

All makes me guilty.

 

I am no man of small honor, at the peak of everything I stay

I respect both small and big, young and old

I put my best foot forward, but never step on others’ heads

However, not innocent as circumstances follow me always

Making me so wrong.

 

If being vindictive is the game, then me dead is the heart

Forgiveness working least, humanity spirit gone

The beasts, all hunting me down,

After my meat they come, my head upon a slate

The indemnity I’m seeking.

 

How I’m I supposed to make it real?

How I’m I supposed to live among wolves?

How I’m I supposed to stay with guilt inside my heart?

How I’m I supposed to man up to my duties if I am not free with myself?

 

Does it have to be like this?

Does it have to end like this?

Do I have to live like this?

Do I have to stay alive while someone is thirsting for my blood?

Does everything has to be all about what I can give?

 

In me I am lost, seeking the ways of wrong not

Wading through murkiness not, it is thick for my feet

I don’t wanna be this foreigner anymore

Free my soul

Tell me the indemnity that I have to pay,

So that I cleanse myself from the arena of gladiators.

 

Tell me what to do, the right man to be

Understand me, the shit that runs in my blood

Open your heart, welcome my sentiments

Open your eyes, see my unsaid sorrows

Look at my countenance, see the wrinkles

All say the pain I’ve been through.

 

Just tell me, what indemnity do I have to pay to release myself from your bondage.

Save me please! Save me!

Save my soul!

Save my dying energy!

Look at me like you would look at a girl!

Make me feel loved!

Ask me what is eating me!

Forgive my insanity!

Wipe my tears!

 

Give me the shoulder, on it to lean

Open your arms, in them for me to lie

Open your house, for me to stay

 

Share with me the happiness

Share with me the love

Share with me friendliness

 

Be a friend, talk to me

Be the shining light in my path

Be the lover of my heart

Be the one to listen to my sorrows

Be the guardian angel for my life

 

I’m just human

I err

I get angry

I stop listening

I do bad things

I abuse

 

But I repent

It is what makes me human

Don’t judge me yet

We are all criminals, who have not been caught.

 

Treat me with innocence

Like a little child hold me in your arms

Like a piece of gold treasure me

MY LIFE MAY BE WAY DIFFERENT BECAUSE I’M JUST HUMAN.

 

JUST TELL ME THE PRICE TO PAY.

 

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About Mzangila

Mentor, media consultant, photographer, editor, poet, writer, and counselor.

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One comment

  1. just tell me the price to pay… this is poetry man! Thumbs up

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