Goodbye and 2017 moments

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This post reminds me the far I have come this year. The year that has been because it is just ending and I can’t wrap my head around as I haven’t achieved most of my resolutions as projected during the start of the year. Early in Jan, 2017 had looked so promising just because everything seemed to go on well for me while others whined of January poverty and heat strokes.

It has been a happy year. If it hasn’t been for you I wonder why you’re still alive. You just can’t waste one life living miserably. There is no rehearsal so that you can live better in the next life. You have to enjoy it while you have it as the owner is almost taking it away.

Let’s take it away ladies and gentlemen.


Finishing school

For most of you I know you think I am a thirty-year-old chap who smokes nothing but a Cuban cigar on weekends and airs his ass in Watamu beach every Sunday evening watching the shadows casts by the sun on the blue sky, who must have finished school ages ago, went for a Master’s programme in women chauvinism and now he spends time writing on a small blog called because he lacks direction and commitment.

To your surprise, I am in my late 25s and finished my undergrad under tough circumstances after years of struggle- juggling balls of survival, leadership, relationships, career and studies. One had to win. And now I join the thousands of jobless graduates who’re to be employed soon to look for jobs. Isn’t it funny, the job?

Moving out of the nest

This was one of the resolutions this year. Independence starts with you moving out to your own shack and getting to greet reality by the slap with your whole body. In this new shack which is miles off the network grid or even a good road network, lies a small carpet and a thin 3 by 6 mattress on which  I duck onto in the evenings to relief my back.

How is that going for me? No one is having expectations of me anymore, except myself. Sometimes I sit in the centre of this almost empty crib and have a conversation with the door, sometimes I sit like Buddha and pretend to be meditating (I can’t do the shit no more. I hardly can concentrate), at times I squat and do 100, at times, I fill my only 20 litres jerrycan with water and use it as a 20kg dumbbell. There are days I want to hit 50 push-ups but I can’t, after going 20, I give up and whine like a little girl.


This young woman has been in and out of trouble this year. But she’s come out of the ashes like an eagle after plucking off its wings and talons. A few months ago, I had the opportunity to meet her in her natural habitat. This girl wore her best smile as we walked hand in hand in the streets of London. Then we had this excursion of the spectacular River Thames that flows 346km into the North Sea in a mid-size boat. What better way to spend time with the woman you love?

Earlier, in late May, she’d landed at JKIA with Alexa. I remember spending a day with her and ending up in Debonairs the one along Muhindi Mbingu street. It is here that we had a small but meaningful conversation ever in my life. Come next year, she’ll be kissing 10 on the forehead. Read the story here.

Qatar and London

For the longest time, I haven’t had an opportunity to travel and see the world. In August, Alexa had me on a plane to Qatar and later on to London. Qatar is a nice rich country that has almost 300k citizens. The rest are immigrants who literary run the country. The locals are rich AF and spend most of their time in the beach or in the desert racing. As you can imagine, these folks own swanky autos- the Lamborghinis, the VXs, the best of the best because the cost of fuel is a bob per litre- meaning you can maintain a car. Even the fucking police use Lamborghinis and the likes.

It is a developed country. As good as the country sounds to be, the temperatures hit up to 56 degrees. This simply means you can’t wish to live here. You sweat every second- like you drip wet. Migraines are common for new arrivals. People drink 10 plus litres of water on a daily basis to fight dehydration and migraines.

People work mostly at night and in the cool hours of the morning. From noon onwards, nothing is conducive. It is a natural furnace. I only spent a day and cried to return home. I was meeting Alexa there and then head back to London. I didn’t know her main reasons to be there.

London is a city of my dreams. There is a temptation to hide in there and never come back. Though the accent still gives me nightmares, I can manage to grab a word here and a word there. I am trying to get my e-books to be read by a UK reading bot. I’m just doing this because of Elsie because as time goes by her accent is becoming heavier and difficult for me.  I don’t want that to cause a rift between us.

Much happened in London. I had two weeks to walk and admire buildings, people and nature. The city smells of a mix of colonialism and modernism. There is some way things are that makes you think you’ve backpedaled to 1900s. The buildings reek of British militarism and suppression… this is a story for another day.


Norah is my youngest sister and the last born to our family. She recently finished high school. I am proud of her because at some point I thought she might not. She’s been struggling with some disease that makes her legs swell and develop vidondas. To add on that, she was involved in a number of dalliances and there was a point where she would disappear from school. Cheers baby girl!

My love for family is immense. I pray for everyone and help where I can because my family is my pillar. When it is family, we forgive what we kill others for.

Breaking Bad

This is a memoir; all my life will be hidden in here. People think they really know me but I think they know nothing about me. I manipulate people emotionally to make them think they basically know all about my life but they know nothing in reality. I felt the urge of writing this autobiography to ask for forgiveness from all those I’ve lied to and manipulated emotionally with non-existent truths.

For long I have been wanting to write books. I have tried severally but on the way, I have given up. Although I haven’t been able to finish it, I am half way and pray that by mid-January it will be finished and send it to someone for thorough editing.

I want it to come out at a time when I am out of this country. It will reveal so many things about me that can make the world frown at me. I don’t want to meet those faces in the streets every day I go to work.

Mzangila Network

This is my baby. It is my dream. It is part of Mzangila Empire, dedicated to empowering and mentoring young people to be self-employed. I have been caught up but it has been unveiled already. Come January, we’re balling big. If you think this is something that can be of help to you, let us know through

Person of the year

The CJ (Mr David Maraga) made me rethink about myself. He is a man of principle like I am. He won my heart and that taught me that I should stand my ground whatever may come.

Miguna Miguna. Many think that this guy is a wicked-ass psycho. Lately, I began to think of him as a scholar that doesn’t fit in the Kenyan context. Kenyans don’t like too much-educated folks who speak blatantly their mind. In my quest for knowledge, I read his book- Peeling Back the Mask. It completely changed my mind about him and Raila. So, for me, the man who made demagogue the most searched word also won the crown.

Best book

To be honest, I haven’t read good books this year. No books that could make me feel like changing immediately. Though there is one book I read about marriage, I didn’t finish. It was the simplest book ever written yet so powerful. For years, The Alchemist and The Monk who sold his Ferrari still remain my best books.


I met Tamara who for some reason fell in love with me. No, I did fall for her. A jovial 39-year-old woman fighting to cut some weight and be able to fit into nice pants and stilettos. By the way, you can’t believe that she’s cut over 70kg three months down the line. She calls often but I’ve learnt to ignore her calls. The more we meet the more the bond catapults to somewhere I don’t wanna go. After I got well, I went to see her, one of these impromptu visits and see her working out on some steep hill in Ngong. That woman, she’s become so fine that I wanna marry her. How else could I be surviving without her money? She’s a blessing, we had two days hidden in an old hut tearing down the walls of her psychology. My job with her is almost over. Read her story here.

The downs


In a warm evening sometime in August, I am seated by the fireplace with Alexa. Out of nowhere, the subject of marriage crops up. I don’t think I’m gonna marry. If I will, it’ll be in the mid or late 30s, but even so, not her.

Losing my job

Hello Justine,

We’re sorry to inform you that you can no longer work for us. Due to the current market trends, we’ve decided to trim our staff and it is unlucky that you’ve fallen among those to be laid off. Thanks for all the effort that you’ve put into this business. We shall miss your company………….

Blah blah.

We wish you all the best.

Kind regards.

It felt like a stitch on my nuts, painfully numbing. It was more of backstabbing than a frank lay off. When I say I am jobless, I honestly am.


I spent 400 bob to get tested for HIV/AIDS. It was disappointing that I could spend all that money for it to come out negative. I didn’t get the value for my money, I sulked and cursed the whole day.


Y’all recall my baby getting mumps? It was the darkest two months of my life. I couldn’t swallow anything. Every time I imagined Elsie couldn’t swallow a thing and I was having all the fun in my life, I stopped. Glad that your prayers worked. Read the story here.


Now I have this sucker wristwatch. It plays games on me. Every time I sleep, it also hangs a coat and goes to sleep. In the morning it wakes up late, so many times I don’t know what time it is. Normally I don’t depend on my phone for time. By morning it is dead out of charge so my watch comes in handy. But of late it sneaks into the blankets and waits for me to wake it up. Been late for my assignments, work, and event dates. I want to ditch and in the wake of 2018 get myself a new Rolex- I’m trying to save shit for it, I pray that I save enough.


I broke the truce. I had promised myself to stay clean this year in the effort of cleansing my mind and system. At the start of the last month of the year, I fell in a well and I couldn’t resist drinking. I wonder who makes such promises in this dick dick world anymore.


Two months after finishing school, I was into printing and design business. I made lots of money because it was the election period when politicians spent thousands of cash on billboards, posters, t-shirts and whatnot. Then one damn day I landed 100k.

There is something that happens when you get money. Suddenly everyone knows you got money. I lost three-quarters of it to a pussyprenuer who put a mchele in my drink and minted my hard-earned money. I didn’t eat the pussy though as I hadn’t gone looking for one.

Breaking bad

I was to finish this book by December. I haven’t. I thought myself as a failure because I was lazy and couldn’t even trust and honour my timelines. It pissed me off. But then I was reading Biko’s Drunk, and before I started, he said he’d spent a whole year writing it. I felt a surge of relief kiss me. Writing a book isn’t a simple after all. But I have put a new timeline, I hope I honour it this time around.

Kidney infection

I rarely get sick because I eat and live healthily. I work out often, eat the right diet, I don’t do alcohol or sugary foods or fats. But I am not a vegan. I’ll be lying. I’m stress-free 99% of my current life. But these bacteria caught me after even doing all these nice stuff that other people can’t do but wish to.

There is a lot to talk about but to end this, I wanna thank you all- our readers. Thanks for sparing your time to come up here and read our bullshit. We have new writers in the house, it is one of our projects to uplift upcoming writers: Rehema Zuberi, Charles Moseti (Free Man), Joseph Ngugi, Carol Gacheri and Richard Ngala (Rich Blaze).

Thanks for supporting us through and through. We can only count our blessings through you. We hope that 2018 brings good tidings. Let’s meet in January.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, stay safe.

Leave a brief comment on what you consider your greatest achievement in 2017.


Mzangila Snr

Where shall we go, we who wander in this wasteland in search of better selves?


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  1. Haha. Your life sounds so fucked up but so nicely lived at the same time.
    Happy that I made it until now

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