Getting over your past

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The past is an asset for the future. Whether it is a success or failure you can count on it. The way you choose to look at it is what matters most. Perhaps that is why we have  history as a subject in our system of education. Inventions have been made from past mistakes, history of great nations has been made from worst errors of the past. We too stand a chance to reinvent the future from our past experience, good or bad.

Sometimes it can be difficult to let go of the past, especially when it is traumatizing. We encounter various challenges in life. They are peculiar to each one of us. While someone’s problem may seem easy to fix, ours become complicated whenever we encounter them. Even so, there is always a way that can restore our dignity and hope. I believe one can be better again. What you lost yesterday can be regained tomorrow. And if you don’t, a better thing awaits you.

You must begin to believe.  Great things are accomplished by developing faith and confidence that it is possible. Maybe what you are trying to get over is a broken relationship, maybe it is a lost golden opportunity, maybe you lost your loved ones, maybe it’s a terrible evil you did or even pain of losing all you deserved to someone else who didn’t. In the midst of all these, find a place in your heart to perceive things from a different perspective. It can be that what you thought you had lost you had actually gained. Can a seed produce unless it dies?  Surely you can’t see the stars unless the sun goes down.

When a razor cuts you by accident, it’s not a crime to cry but more importantly, you need to do simple first aid and stop the bleeding. This shows you accept that what you did not anticipate has happened and a healing process must be initiated instantly. What a stunning lesson! Whenever you find yourself in an awful situation, remember, like a river your life must keep moving. Accept a problem has occurred and it needs the best solution possible.

Take responsibility and make no excuses. It is easy to find somebody to blame for your misfortune. This brings cheap consolation to the heart. Nevertheless, you must question what you really want. Whenever excuses are exalted there is little to be learned. Mistakes are inevitable. They are there to teach us. Thomas Edison must have mastered his art of making light bulbs from thousands of his mistakes. What made a difference? He was willing to learn and he did. Instead of looking for somebody to blame, take time and examine your individual contribution to what befall you. Be authentic to yourself on what you can improve. Spell out where you need to go and the path you need to follow.

My close friend, Otwori, shared to me recently how he had been thrown out of a partnership. They had partnered with three of his friends to open a supplies company. Having graduated from Karatina University with no formal employment to count on, they agreed to start a supplies company to enable them to become financially independent. After graduation parents always have high expectation from their sons and daughters, and the last thing one can think of is disappointing a parent.  They toiled and succeeded to collectively raise fifteen thousand shillings required to register the company. Things were not to be smooth. They needed money to supply commodities as payment came after a successful supply of the required. After securing their first tender, they had to look for ways and means to deliver the goods. Otwori with his desire to push their agenda forward borrowed twenty thousand from a women financial group. They were expected to gain a profit of ten thousand from that tender. Tendering process requires some specific regulations and terms to be followed. While delivering the commodities, Otwori failed to sign in one of the documents. They realized that the mistake of Otwori had cost them three thousand. As a result, Otwori was removed from the company. Will Otwori sit back and live condemning his friends for dismantling him from the partnership? Absolutely not. You can’t control the past but the future is in your hands. Every day is an opportunity to make a better decision. Each day is a privilege to prove to yourself and those close to you that the world is better with your existence. Otwori has now made a fortune because of his spirit and faith. It was a blessing in disguise.

You deserve gold, not silver. Maybe you are working so hard to get silver. But God in his timing and wisdom knows what you deserve. A young man strives so hard to impress a lady. In the same way, a lady will do everything to impress his boyfriend. Is it a natural instinct or man’s invention? It depends on your school of thought. For instance, if you are heartbroken it doesn’t mean that is the end of the world. There is much to look forward to. God has not created a specific companion for you, he can only foresee the future. He has installed divine powers within you to determine your own destiny. Don’t invite your past to haunt you in the present. Let go of your past memories. Tap those experiences that can only add value to your future. A life of regrets does more harm than good. Find joy in learning from your past haunting experiences with the knowledge that you have the capacity to control your future.

Be prayerful. You don’t need to be a Christian or a Muslim to begin praying. Submit to the supreme God who controls the universe. He is in charge of the past, present, and the future. Faith in God brings confidence. No matter what has happened in your past, you can look up to the creator for hope and deeper meaning of life. You cannot live in isolation. When you submit to God in prayer, you get reenergized. There is no need to drain your energy and vitality with self-pity. Instead, dedicate more time to meditation and possible area of improvement.

Get your motivation. One failure gives you the reason to try again. You can’t hide your head in the sand forever. If your past keeps haunting you find a motivation from it. If it was a lost opportunity, a motivation would be to find a new opportunity or to create one. If it was a heartbreak, commit yourself to finding a fulfilling relationship. If it was an abusive experience forgive yourself and those who might have been involved. Believe that you can be good again. Peter the disciple rejected Jesus but he was never cast out. Paul the apostle persecuted the saints but he was called and made an apostle to the Gentile world.  Don’t be Judas Iscariot who thought he will be abandoned and ended hanging himself. Hope is important. You can be a new being again. Never look down upon yourself. Make conscious decisions and move forward with focus and determination. Your past has no power over you. Not even your past success should you take pride in, you have the present and the future to conquer.

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