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Dear single mothers

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Dear always whining single mothers,

For long no one has manned enough to squeeze a pill of hard truth down your throats. That is going to change today because I’m the merciless brute you need to hate so that you can grow.

We’ve all heard so many excuses, and whines from single mothers. Especially on how the society should be soft on them, ‘cause they’re single moms. Who are alone for that matter, with a kid sired in a wild dalliance. So the world is supposed to humble down and sit at these single moms’ feet and in the softest voice say, “we understand, it is hard being a single mother. You’ll make it dear, don’t worry. We got your back.”

This notion has continued for long. That these women are like soft spots that need gentleness and a massage at the end of the day. Supposedly, they might be having rougher days than any of us- whether married and having 10 kids or just single.

That they need to be accorded special treatment is a thing that is becoming a norm. ‘Can’t you see they have a kid, and no husband to provide? Don’t you see how hard life is already on her, take her slow.’ These are some of the chants that you’ll hear people say when you treat these single mothers like any other human being should be treated. That they need an extra eye to watch over them. Make sure no one harms them.

Being a single mother is no big deal. Let us not blow it out of proportion. It is just like anything else. There are worse situations that need pampering than being a single mother who wants the world to feel sorry for her.

Here is the truth, single mother! We were not present when some random nigger was hitting on you. You didn’t request counsel if the dude is good to twiddle thumbs with or not. You just showed him off to us and sold his CV flamboyantly to us, telling us how a gent he is. How he takes you out to expensive places and buys you expensive shit. You said he completes you. That he is the apple of your eye, wait, the only man who understands you.

The rest of the world just watched while you showed him to us. Uliringa sana.

Secondly, we were not involved when you decided to open your legs and let him pump your vjajay like it was at World War II in your bed. While you were moaning yes, yes, harder, harder baby, eat it, tear it, take it, we were not there. You never invited us at any point. While you were feeling your body simmered in sweetness, you never thought of us. It is you who was doing all that.

He never put on a condom. You were cool with it because you didn’t think beyond the sex. You just wanted to feel his big pintle slide in and make you cry like Osama Bin Laden on the first shot. You wanted to feel him and have him to yourself.

Then the baby came. Okay, before that, there was pregnancy. Oh, what did he say! Did he tell you keep that baby? Or did he pump enough cash to your palm so that you can see a specialist for abortion?

Anyway, the baby came. The dude was nowhere. He wasn’t taking your calls. After much pestering, he blocked you. And then you were left alone, because you had dismissed your parents. You had listened more to the dude than you did to your parents. You vacated their house so that you can be with the dude ‘because he had cash and rented a nice house.

Marriage? No. you jetted in and cohabited. No commitment. Just madness and then mad sex… at first it was good. Then things changed after the pregnancy. He changed. He came home late, sometimes, he never showed up at all. He never talked much. Mostly, he looked exhausted and went straight to sleep. Hardly did he eat your meals.

Funny enough, you don’t know where this guy comes from. Never seen his parents or siblings. Never talks much of them. You didn’t know much about his life. But he did say things that made you happy. Made you feel special than your parents. Bought you sleeker things than your parents ever did. Yes, the only beat in your heart. But never did any background check on him. Never built a solid foundation for your relationship to flourish.

He vacated. He just left. Just like that, and never came back. Left you in a house you cannot afford to pay for. A baby that you cannot feed, leave alone buying a diaper. You got no money to buy food. You got a lousy relationship with your parents, and you somehow had lost your most close peeps. You’re in a mess.

A mess you created yourself.  You made poor choices from start to the end. And now you wanna cry to the world. How you hate it. How you hate men. How you hate your life. How miserable you’re. How deep in shit you’re dipped. How unfair life is.

You want us to be sorry for you? Well, we are not.

We can only be sorry if your husband died or you were raped and the kid came forth. That one, we can understand. But in the case where you decided to open your legs, you had decided to be a mother. You had made a choice long ago. Now make another one on how you can move forward without pulling everyone into your miserable loop. We also have shit to sort, kids to take care of and a life to run. Who are you so that we can look back with a sore eye and hug you with ‘take this, it’ll help you move on?’

It is high time you stood up for yourselves and own up the mistakes you did. I see so many campus girls get kids carelessly and take them to their mothers to bring them up. That is bullshit. Don’t get a kid unless you’re ready to raise them up. And by the way, no man is going to easily marry a bitch with a kid from another man. Ain’t going to happen. I don’t wanna raise another nigger’s kid. I got mine to take care of. Alas!

Single mothers, just get your shit together. You’re not special as you may think. We all are. And since that is the fact, no one is going to accord you special treatment. Suck it up and move on.

Hate me or like me, it is your problem. You’ll try to prove me wrong. And that is my goal. To better you.

Insincere regards,

Justine Mzangila

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Mzangila

Mentor, media consultant, poet, writer, blogger, and counselor.

5 Comments

  1. Haha, thought I was supposed to hate your article but actually I did like it. We should learn to own our mistakes and not Blane the world, men/women for them even when they have some share of blame….life is better when we own our messes….I despise pity party

  2. I don’t like your post honestly, am not a single mummy,but that’s one perspective of a single mummy you know, what of other,,they don’t need someone to feel sorry about them,do you even care what they gonna feel?anyway am on no one’s side,,that’s my perspective

  3. well yess truth is bitter ,but it is still the truth
    Mzangila you may be loosing your head soon hehee

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