A Rewarding Growth

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Kenyans love quick buck. That’s why every now and then scams are created by those who know how to make easy money by deceiving those who want easy money.  


It is as simple as that. We all want money and since the majority are not up to the task of working hard for it, we believe we can sit at home and “earn online”. Shortcuts.  


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That is why messages like this are making rounds on our phones. For the greed of money and getting rich quickly, we get back to the senders, commit ourselves then a few weeks on, the “company” collapses.  


Rather, it is your world that goes down in crumbles. The very people who were to rescue you from your financial troubles, have embezzled enough to keep them afloat until the next scheme.  


They disappear without a trace, leaving you drowning in the “sea of richness” they had made you envision. Only now, you can’t swim to the shore to retrieve the treasure. 


We were on Public Likes not so long back, moved on to Bitcoins. Learning is what we never do. When everything fails, we convince ourselves that somehow the next “investment” will work.  


Want money? Grow your hair! Run to the next dreadlocks den and start your investment. This is a booming business as you are in control. There are less likely chances to be ripped off.


Aren’t you tired of promoting Brazilian and Asian hair? They have made too much money off us and the time to get it back is now.


 Depending on the length, how well maintained, thickness and texture, your dreadlocks can go for Ksh200, 000 or more! That, for about 6-12k spent on your head on a yearly basis. The returns are good. Very promising.  


Crane your head to the right. No, a little to the left. There, you have seen them. Not the confused youth with unkempt hair that can’t be differentiated as either dreadlocks or a decent Afro.  


The men and women with locked hair. They are the ones we are looking at. Block out the destructions of those who don’t know where to belong.  


Many youth and upper middle class citizens are getting their locks on. Others for a sense of fashion. Others to join the throng of the millions for some kind of solidarity (read peer influence).  


Others want to keep natural hair as the world over, natural is the new orange. Others are just others.


They might not know now but the day they go broke, all they need to do is take a photo of their hair, post it on the various online sites that advertise dreadlocks sale, find a buyer and voila Money Bags!  


Remember Comedian Obinna shaving his head when he was dared to by his friend? Hard reared dreadlocks! He collected a total sum of 1 million shillings for the shave.  


Moral of the lesson? If you are going to cut down your hair, at least get mulla for it. Don’t let all that money and time you spent at the salon go to waste. Better yet, get friends who bet with you on money deals not swigs of the bottle.  


As you decide on the big shave, make not the mistake of trimming it yourself. Most of the clients want it done in a particular way and they prefer sending someone or doing it themselves.  


You might lose a loaded customer if you decide that you are better off with the clippers!  


Make sure you have bagged a genuine client before skimming. Don’t scissor up and start selling. You will end up getting lower value for your hair than if it were on your head or none at all.  


We are treading on dangerous times with this growing venture. A time is coming when dreadlocks will be equal to gold (if they aren’t already).  


You can check how much the Rastafarian Bob Marley’s went for to understand what exactly is in play here.  


All in all, as you make the crucial decision to grow or sell dreadlocks, do your research first and thoroughly.


Maybe, it is another of those enterprises that will go down the drain. Like the quail eggs for some.


 Know where to put your money.



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About Rehema Zuberi

Teller of 'taboo-d' tales.

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